Moda Saiyya Mosey Boley Na

That got your attention:). Didn't it?

My childhood friend Misti's  writing in this edition got my attention! And as I was going through Misti's intense write up I thought its about time we gently ponder over why most people don't write? Are most people scared of intense feelings? or are they scared of the grammer of a language? or are they just scared to address emotions as the treasure house for good literature? With Misti's write up in my hand I thought if this is possible in an alumni magazine then we must ask for more!

Moda Saiyya Mosey Boley Na...

Grab the attention with your first two lines! Simple lines are always better!

Quite like acting! Quite like the MUKHRA of a song! If you study the popular Bollywood songs you'll discover they are just this! Great MUKHRA! Great first few lines! If the lyricist manages to strike gold with the ANTARA (the mid paras) also then woopsy one has a classic!

So I was wondering if some of you who want to write but shy away from writing will write more!:). Begin with what matters the most to you! For instance this song! Listen to it carefully!

Now whats this song all about? What catches your ear is the authenticity of the feeling expressed. 'Mora Saiyyan Mosey Boley na!'. MY beloved doesn't speak to me. A song of loneliness, longing and love. A heart wrenching feeling that has been experienced by most human beings at some point of time or the other.

Look at this other song.

Aapki Yaad aati Rahi raat bhar!Chandni dil dukhati rahee raat bhar!

Now most of the human population has either loved and longed or hoped to love and long. The  all night wait of a lover for  his/her beloved. A night that feels like Marqez's hundred years of solitude. Many of us have experienced those purple nights. But how many of us are honest enough to say we are terribly lonely? or miss our lover? partner? wife? husband? miserably, ceaselessly, hopelessly? When we write the very obvious honestly, transparently, passionately, tenderly, humanly we have a piece of writing that will be valued.

One of my favourite songs is Leonard Cohen's Anthem- Ring the bell that still can ring, Forget the perfect offering, there is a crack in everything....thats how the light gets in!

Isn't that lovely? I will always envy Cohen!! I wish I could write something like that!

Many of us  have often felt  that this world is a dreary, drab and boring place. And then again sometimes found it a lil too adventurous! Most of us  hate wars, riots, discrimination, fundamentalism! You might have wondered whether any protest is really worth the cause! I have! And that it is better to just chill out! Stay away from all troubles! But then Cohen's lines RING THE BELL THAT STILL CAN RING...

And we all know you can't write those lines suddenly one day! Yes the inspiration will come like that! One fine day! Out of the Blue! But years of  living the real life, expressing, feeling, thinking, letting go of one self, writing, practice, language training, faux pas, holding hands will lead us to that day of magic!!

As I read Misti's write up on her daughter...I could only say WOW! How much courage and love it must have taken her to write that piece! Saying Au Revoir to one's daughter...

So lets write! We were trained to express! We were encouraged to use our emotional vocabulary along with the rational one!!! So lets grow and express in all possible ways! Pick up! Pick up that pen!! Or better still...hit those keysss...and Forget the perfect offering...there is a crack in everything...and thats how the light gets in! Let the light shine on your keyboards and pen...let the light come in...

Rukmini Sen

Meri Beti Meri Duty- Archana Dutta

Hi there! I am here to share an experience.

This is the first time I am writing a piece for my old school mates. You ofcourse understand this is important to me. Something I think is significant for all of us.

I  participated in a ramp walk - An initiative by Times of India and MSD at DLF Emporio mall, Vasant kunj delhi. This was on the 30th June 2012. The idea behind the ramp was to promote the vaccination for cervical cancer. The tag line for the same was Meri beti Meri duty. All the participants where asked to make a placard writing something about the importance of this vaccination.The green ribbon was used as a symbol of support. The fashion show that was organised to create awareness had its theme as green as well-

I write this for my daughters and sons around the world. Please know a few things about the cervical cancer-

Every 7 Minutes one Indian woman dies of CERVICAL CANCER.
Cervical cancer is most prevalent cancer amongst indian women. However, very few are aware of it.
Cervical cancer is mostly misunderstood to be back or spine related. However, one's spine is fine here.
Cervical cancer is the cancer of the cervix ie the opening of the utreus. When the cells on the cervix begin to grow abnormally and sometimes if they are not treated, they can become cancerous.
Cervical cancer is caused by Human Papiloma Virus or the HPV virus. As your little daughter turns into a teenager she might be at the risk of HPV infection. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease.
HPV stays in the body for a long time and if not cleared may develop into cervical cancer in prime of a woman's life. Cervical cancer usually has no symptoms in its early stages and hence prevention and early detection against cervical cancer is very essential.

In a country like ours where women's health is neglected this vaccination introduced by MSD can prove to be a boon to our health. So mothers spread awareness!

By- Archana Dutta.

 

Meeting Rajesh Khanna- Rahul Seth

Be aware of the big difference between inspired action and activity. Activity comes from the brain-mind and is rooted in disbelief and lack of faith - you are taking action to "make" your desire happen. Inspired action is allowing the law to work through you and to move you.
Activity feels hard. Inspired action feels wonderful... Liberating"


This is a maxim that I've truly believed in, and it forms the basic crux of my endeavors at all times.

Right from my school days in SDA, where i did my Std. 9th & 10th from, mostly all I did could be termed as "inspired action" without an iota of any pre-meditated thought process or agenda to it.
I guess I just "went with the flow..." be it my involvement with dramatics, singing, writing, academics, and yes... even my crushes and romances.

Well, a lot of water has flown under the bridge since then, but one thing that always remained constant was my sudden bursts of "Inspired Action", which led me to charter a course that eventually merged my Passion with my Profession, and here I am.....  An accomplished Music Director, Lyricist, Singer & Voice Artist in Bollywood, with films like Yamla Pagla Deewana, Vaada Raha, Heroes, Khel, Alag, Hum Aake Dil mein Rehte Hain... & more , and almost 3000 Ad Jingles to my credit.


Trust me, my "Inspired Actions" have often led me to discover and experience moments to be cherished for a lifetime.


One such moment was  when I spent almost two hours with the Late Superstar Rajesh Khanna, or Kakaji ( as he was best known ) at his Bungalow Aashirwaad, almost a month & a half prior to his sad demise.


It so happened that a well known Film Director, whose next film's Music & Lyrics I am working on, had to meet Kakaji regarding a small cameo in his film. He happened to ask me to come along, an offer I readily accepted on impulse.


On the appointed day, we were taken to his office by his personal manager Sajjad.
An office lined with all the major awards & felicitations of his illustrious career.
I also vividly remembered it being the same office I had seen in the BBC Documentary titled "Bombay Superstar" shot in early seventies... which was broadcast as part the 'Man Alive' series on BBC 2 in 1973. Later repeated in 1982 & as part of the 'Festival of India' that took place that summer in the UK..


This was the same office where British interviewer Jack Pizzey waited along with his team mates for an audience with THE RAJESH KHANNA.


The very recollection of that scene brought goose bumps.


Our wait was shortlived, as Sajjaad took us inside the sprawling living room of Rajesh Khanna, a premises where only privileged few could set foot in.


As we entered, there he was, Kakaji... standing next to an ornate couch, wearing crisp kurta pyjama and a waist coat.


He welcomed us warmly and motioned us to sit down.


I just couldn't believe my eyes. The image of a wiry thin Kakaji in front of me brought in mixed feelings of Awe & utter Shock.


But the glint and twinkle in his eyes was still the same, and when he spoke, he still had the same authority and charisma.


I got formally introduced to him as the Music Director, Singer & Lyricist of the current film, and his encouragement was heartfelt.


Soon, we began exchanging various talks regarding his health, his Ad Film Shoot for Havells Fans, and then we reminisced about his Hit Films and the Stupendous music.


Taking that as a cue, I once again sprang into "Inspired Action"


I asked Kakaji if he would like to hear me sing one of my favorite songs from his films.


Kakaji was visibly so excited by the idea, he immediately asked me to go ahead.


Then the enormity of the situation struck me, that I was about to pay a Live Tribute to the living Legend, Rajesh Khanna, sitting right in front of me, by singing his own song for him.


I looked into his gleaming eyes transfixed upon me, waiting for me to begin..... and begin i did.


I broke into the song "Jeevan Se bhari Teri Aankhein..." from his Hit film Safar... and the huge living room made my voice echo, giving my sonorous
rendition a natural reverb.

Simultaneously, I watched Kakaji thoroughly enjoying my song, gesturing animatedly with his hands, to the rise and fall of the notes and my tonal transitions.


Once i was through, Kakaji genuinely praised my singing, saying that i had such a wonderful voice, i should do more of playback singing, along with music direction.


Believe me, this, coming from him, was nothing short of a Grand Felicitation for me. Just writing about it fills me with such an immense sense of achievement and gratitude. 


Then, we talked some more... and inevitably, it was time for us to leave. In fact we even scheduled to meet again soon... ( Which sadly never happened )


I touched Kakaji's feet & took his blessings, paused for a second, wondering if i should get a snap clicked with him.


He noticed my hesitation and asked me what the matter was.


Something within stopped me from going ahead with the request for a snap. Maybe it was the hope of meeting him again.


As I left with the Director... I threw a last glance behind me... and saw Kakaji standing all alone in the huge hall ... watching us leave.

Never once had the thought struck me ..... That this was a Final Good Bye to "The Moghul Of Mohabbat" .... Rajesh Kahnna.

By- Rahul Seth.
Rahul is the music director of Yamla Pagla Deewana amongst many other Bollywood numbers/movies. He DID NOT compose Tinku Jiya. Rahul also sings, writes and sings more! Rahul lives in Mumbai with is wife Anu and daughter Kiara. I remember him for his gift of the gab. He narrated this meeting with Rajesh Khanna to me over a cup of coffee in a buzzing cafe at Andheri West. So I told him here was a subject he could write on for the OSA magazine...for fellow SDA friends. We plan to make him write on such incidents more often from now on.

You look like me...Who are you?

Welcome back to SDA Quotient!!

Sorry about the delay!! Par Der Aaye Durust Aaye!:):)

Its been years we have left SDA. We have our worlds so far from each other's but still there is a string that brings us back to each other. We are in each other's old spaces, memories, music...

Sorry for prying but thats a Khabru's job. We went through some of your Face book albums and picked up what we thought you wouldn't mind sharing. May you capture many moments on camera and in your thoughts. Do notice how across the world old students of SDA often do the same stuff alone and with their families:)

This is Shubharanjan Bagchi's family. The Bagchi family lives in Gurgao, Haryana. Clearly Cycling is a family sport:):). Would presume Shubharanjan used to cycle down to school and back. Albeit not on such a fancy cycle in the school days! Shubharnjan is from 84-85 ICSE batch. Most of us did cycle to school and Dignum!  Remember:)

Meet Priyank Saxena's family. Priyank, Gita and daughter Kriti are cycling too:). This family lives in Sanfrancisco, California. Kriti is here a lil too young to cycle. Priyank is from 89-90 batch of ICSE. Several years junior to Shubharanjan!:)

                                                                      That's Priyank and Kriti again!!

 Meet Kriti, Daughter of Priyank Saxena, Batch 1989.

 Priyank now has two daughters. In this photograph its Kriti, Gita and baby Ritika:)

 Manish Pandey, 89-90 Batch ICSE with daughter Mili in Harihareshwar!

Manish used to love Maths in School. Is an Engineer. So where does he take his daughter for fun!:) Where else? Jantar Mantar.

                                                                              
                                                                            
                                                                               Mili in Amer

                                                                       

                                                                        Mili holds the fort

Alexander Sen of 94-95 batch with his daughter Mulan in their backyard. They live in IBRI, Oman.

Shweta bisht and Alex teach English Language in College of Applied Sciences in Oman. In this photo Mulan tries explaining something to her mom without using words:)

Mulan not even two years old yet is a full fledged gardener:).

                                        Far away in San Antonio, Texas lives another Gardener, Ria Chandra. Ria's parents are           Sameer Chandra and Nidhi Bagri.

Your Fault Dad!! Why did you show me so many flowers when I was YOUNGER?:)

                                                   Dad I'll always take care of your Garden:). Yes Yes We'll See.

I know you...You Look like me...Who are you? I am SDA:):)

What is a Stroke- Editorial

Hi there Friends!

Many of us are in our 30s and 40s here! Our parents are old. Some of us have seen them suffer strokes and cardiac attacks.
My father suffered a stroke last week. I learnt a couple of things about stroke and what all can be done for prevention?

Sharing:-
- My father was wobbly for two days. He has suffred a fracture a few years back. We have always believed that the fracture weakened his leg.

- However, both Baba and I gathered that this time there was a neurological deficit.

- We had planned to go to a neurologist.

- On the 1st of June my father tried walking outside a restruant but he was very unstable in his gait.

- It looked that his legs were giving away.

- That evening when I tried waking up from his long siesta he refused to budge.

- For next 40 min my friends and I sprinkled water on his face, called out his name, picked him up and made him sit with support.

- First thing we did was we called up the ambulance and friends with cars.

- If there is a doctor in neighbourhood you must call her/him. I didn't have any.

- My father has diabetes. I didn't give him sugar because he had had a few sweets that afternon. However, if you are in doubt about whether the sugar has dipped or gone up remember HYPO or less sugar is DANGEROUS. Bothe HIGH AND LOW are bad but LOW is VERY BAD. So basically GIVE THAT SUGAR ANYWAYS. Even if the sugar is UP and witn th sugar it goes from 350 to 380 there wouldn't be much of a difference.

The ARTCLE below is from a med journo. Read on-

What is a stroke?

Brain cell function requires a constant delivery of oxygen and glucose from the bloodstream. A stroke, or cerebrovascular accident (CVA), occurs when blood supply to part of the brain is disrupted, causing brain cells to die. Blood flow can be compromised by a variety of mechanisms.
Blockage of an artery

• Narrowing of the small arteries within the brain can cause a lacunar stroke, (lacune means "empty space"). Blockage of a single arteriole can affect a tiny area of brain causing that tissue to die (infarct).
• Hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis) leading to the brain. There are four major blood vessels that supply the brain with blood. The anterior circulation of the brain that controls most motor activity, sensation, thought, speech, and emotion is supplied by the carotid arteries. The posterior circulation, which supplies the brainstem and the cerebellum, controlling the automatic parts of brain function and coordination, is supplied by the vertebrobasilar arteries.

If these arteries become narrow as a result of atherosclerosis, plaque or cholesterol, debris can break off and float downstream, clogging the blood supply to a part of the brain. As opposed to lacunar strokes, larger parts of the brain can lose blood supply, and this may produce more symptoms than a lacunar stroke.

Embolism to the brain from the heart. In some instances blood clots can form within the heart and the potential exists for them to break off and travel (embolize) to the arteries in the brain and cause a stroke.
Rupture of an artery (hemorrhage)

• Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding within the brain substance). The most common reason to have bleeding within the brain is uncontrolled high blood pressure. Other situations include aneurysms that leak or rupture or arteriovenous malformations (AVM) in which there is an abnormal collection of blood vessels that are fragile and in bleed.

 What causes a stroke?

Blockage of an artery
The blockage of an artery in the brain by a clot (thrombosis) is the most common cause of a stroke. The part of the brain that is supplied by the clotted blood vessel is then deprived of blood and oxygen. As a result of the deprived blood and oxygen, the cells of that part of the brain die and the part of the body that it controls stops working. Typically, a cholesterol plaque in a small blood vessel within the brain that has gradually caused blood vessel narrowing ruptures and starts the process of forming a small blood clot.
Risk factors for narrowed blood vessels in the brain are the same as those that cause narrowing blood vessels in the heart and heart attack (myocardial infarction). These risk factors include:

• high blood pressure (hypertension),
• high cholesterol,
• diabetes, and
• smoking.

Embolic stroke
Another type of stroke may occur when a blood clot or a piece of atherosclerotic plaque (cholesterol and calcium deposits on the wall of the inside of the heart or artery) breaks loose, travels through the bloodstream and lodges in an artery in the brain. When blood flow stops, brain cells do not receive the oxygen and glucose they require to function and a stroke occurs. This type of stroke is referred to as an embolic stroke. For example, a blood clot might originally form in the heart chamber as a result of an irregular heart rhythm, such as occurs inatrial fibrillation. Usually, these clots remain attached to the inner lining of the heart, but occasionally they can break off, travel through the blood stream, form a plug (embolism) in a brain artery, and cause a stroke. An embolism can also originate in a large artery (for example, the carotid artery, a major artery in the neck that supplies blood to the brain) and then travel downstream to clog a small artery within the brain.

Cerebral hemorrhage
A cerebral hemorrhage occurs when a blood vessel in the brain ruptures and bleeds into the surrounding brain tissue. A cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding in the brain) causes stroke symptoms by depriving blood and oxygen to parts of the brain in a variety of ways. Blood flow is lost to some cells. As well, blood is very irritating and can cause swelling of brain tissue (cerebral edema). Edema and the accumulation of blood from a cerebral hemorrhage increases pressure within the skull and causes further damage by squeezing the brain against the bony skull further decreasing blood flow to brain tissue and cells.

Subarachnoid hemorrhage
In a subarachnoid hemorrhage, blood accumulates in the space beneath the arachnoid membrane that lines the brain. The blood originates from an abnormal blood vessel that leaks or ruptures. Often this is from an aneurysm (an abnormal ballooning out of the wall of the vessel). Subarachnoid hemorrhages usually cause a sudden, severe headache, nausea, vomiting, light intolerance, and a stiff neck. If not recognized and treated, major neurological consequences, such as coma, and brain death may occur.

Vasculitis
Another rare cause of stroke is vasculitis, a condition in which the blood vessels become inflamed causing decreased blood flow to brain tissue.

Migraine headache
There appears to be a very slight increased occurrence of stroke in people with migraine headache. The mechanism for migraine or vascular headaches includes narrowing of the brain blood vessels. Some migraine headache episodes can even mimic stroke with loss of function of one side of the body or vision or speech problems. Usually, the symptoms resolve as the headache resolves.

Feeling Tired Endlessly- Why?

Fatigued, Fagged out, Tired, Drained Out, Burnt out...

Are we a generation thats either too intense or too light or too serious or too frivolous?
Are we a generation that takes both our intensity and our frivolity too seriously?

Are we a generation that validates all our actions with half baked logic? or misplaced faith?

Who are we? Why are we so tired? Why has the medical sciences started talking about Fatigue syndromes?
Where have we gone wrong?

When we had trade Unions we blamed them for too many bandhs? for the eventual shut downs?
Now we have corporates. Big salaries. But big days of work as well. No health isurance for parents. No pension. If we have taken care of our savings we have lost out on the carefree youth. If we have had a carefree youth we know tomorrow if we fall ill no one might be by our side!!!

So many worries then. Ofcourse we are not the first to experience fatigue but why should we feel so tired?

Are you married? Happy? Are you divorced? happy? Are you unmarried? Happy?

Is HAPPINESS a big word? Is security a BIG BIG word? Is HEALTH a GRAND concern?

We will get Experts to answer your questions. They can be on Wellbeing, health, fitmess, depression, anxiety, health of children, learning disabilities, health conditions like thyroid, diabetes etc. Come share! With or without your names.
You can write to me on goodoldsda@gmail.com

Don't worry about privacy. Confidentiality will be maintained.

We have a psychotherapist on board with the NEWSLETTER.  So feel free and lets discuss whats bothering you today? Real people have real issues. We'll work together to reach REAL ROADWAYS.

love, love, love.
Rukmini

Changing times: From Pehle Aap to Pehle Tum

The city of graces takes pride in speaking a zubaan which is laced with sophistication and refinement. But, over the years there has been a perceptible change in Lucknow's lingua franca. Vijay Chopra runs a reality check on the new trend.

Avadhis love to gloat over their two possessions: zubaan (language) and Dussehri aam. Both, say the natives, are imbued with sweetness and refinement, and give Lucknow a distinctive identity. Many would find it difficult to dispute the claim.
The zubaan of Lucknow is a hybrid of Hindi, Urdu, Persian, Arabic and British languages. Basically, it's Hindustani: heavily laced with Hindi and Urdu words. This makes it easy to speak and understand. The city of graces uses exalted forms of addresses like janab, huzur, hazrat and sarkar. The most preferred pronoun, too, is ‘aap’ and not ‘tu’ or ‘tum’, and the natives, like Avadhi cusines, show great delicacy and taste in the selection of words.

Avadh's lingua franca was best captured in Muzaffar Ali's bollywood flick Umrao Jaan. Its dialogues had words picked straight from the city's lexicon. But that was circa 1981. Much water has flown since then. The conversations overheard on the streets of Lucknow today sound diluted, at times even pedestrian in terms of word selection. Many say the 'Pehle Aap' tehzeeb has given way to 'Pehle Tum'.

So, is it time to revisit the Lakhnavi zubaan? Or, has it become too obsolete to find a pride of place in a fast changing cultural mileu?

Veteran bookseller Ram Advani dismisses the notion of any decline in city's style of speech. Advani, who takes pride in calling himself a Lucknowite first and a Sindhi later, says: “Our zubaan is too deep-rooted to lose its grace and delicacy.” He goes on to add that language evolves with culture and it's a natural process that Lakhnavi speech now has the influence of words imported from its immigrant population. He, however, admits that “city's commercial intelligentsia has expanded, but its cultural imagination has not grown in that proportion.”

Advani's views find support from writer Ravi Bhatt. “Lucknow's language will remain as dominant as the Banaras gharana,” says an optimistic Bhatt. He, too, emphasises that cultural change is inevitable and languages also go through a metamorphosis.

Cultural evolution has always found roots in Avadhi soil. This part of the country has always remained open to vistas of change. Fimmaker Sudhir Mishra, who hails from the city, says Lucknow is far richer than the sophistication of thought, and a sense of grace permeates through its cultural ethos. “The idea of tameez and tehzeeb will change. Zubaan is not static, it's dynamic. It incorporates the new trends and one should get used to it,” says Mishra.

The streets of Lucknow buzz with anecdotes on how the art of language has blossomed many romantic relationships. Letters laden with delicate praises were exchanged among the Cupid-struck till a few years back. Lakhnavi zubaan has also been a representative of the Ganga-Jamuni tehzeeb with 'adaab' and 'namaskar' being the main salutations.

Lucknow chronicler Yogesh Praveen, however, laments the loss of refinement in conversations. “The major reason for decline is the influx of immigrants. They have eroded the characteristic grace of Lucknow and replaced it with rough and rude words.” Praveen also attributes the fall to the growing dominance of English. “Parents, instead of instilling city's culture into their children, coax them to speak English. So, how can we expect kids to pick up the conversational etiquette which is peculiar to the city of Nawabs,” says Praveen.

Writer KP Saxena, who has penned dialogues for Bollywood blockbusters Lagaan and Jodha Akbar, is more harsh in his remarks. “Our zubaan has become rotten and there is little hope that it will regain its lost glory,” says Saxena.
Inhabitants may give a divided verdict but most of them favour the retention of delicacy in speech. Advani and Bhatt say people should set examples that can be emulated. “I do not think the SMS generation has corrupted our zubaan. If 5 out of 100 youngsters have grace in their words, then it's a healthy trend,” says the veteran bookseller.

A little uplift to Avadhi art of conversation seems a plausible proposition. It just calls for a balancing act between the old and new lexicons. Perhaps, the natives can take a leaf from French writer Guy de Maupassant who said: “My choices are simple. I like the best.” The same can be applied to the selection of words!

Vijay Chopra

(Newsletter has used some photographs from the blog of Ghummakkars. Thanks to them many of us who are outside Lucknow can still admire our good old city)

Some love letters

In the midst of CRAZY news gathering.
In  the middle of changing houses and reporting for lost ATM card.
In the thick of things with a parent suffering stroke ...

When all seemed down and out...and stressful to the core I came across two writeups that uplifted me. One talked about small things a family does or can do in their vacation and another one on one's daughter.

I am sure you'll love both of them. A word of praise for Natasha Badhwar, the HT coloumnist who writes on her three daughters often. On other occasions she writes on her mixed marriage, love and small adventures of life. Read her online. She is simple, lucid and very gentle in her writing.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/Entertainment/Luxury/How-to-vacation-at-home/Article1-865143.aspx

and the other one is by Ravish. He writes on the birth of his daughter and on people's reactions. He challenges the whole phenomenon of putting the girl child either on a pedestal or absolutely rubbishing her. What he does most beautifully is point out the politics of language. How we discriminate by giving a GOD size compliment!! Read on. Its very well written.

http://naisadak.blogspot.in/2012/05/blog-post_30.html

Hey Have you seen or heard this?:)

You must have seen or heard this! But yet just in case you have missed it...we want to share some of the not so recent videos and songs. There is something organic , original and of the soil in these numbers. Leave us a message if you have enjoyed listening or watching these treats-

Feeling Good- SQ's Editorial Team

We thought of playing some old time favourites of Nina Simone for old time sakes:). Welcoming SQ gang musically into April and May. So are you feeling good?? Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me:)....Feeling Good!!!

And if you are feeling good!!! May be thats because I put a spell on you:)

But then you give me FEVER!! Peggy lee's number that many of us recorded in our small cassettes and gifted our first boyfriends...

Do send us your favourite numbers. Share them with us! What were the songs you listened to, sang and gifted to your friends and crushesss? We really want to know!! Hope we made you a lil nostalgic with those numbers:):)

Editor's Note

Hiya!! Thousand Apologies for this extreme delay!!

Well I was waiting for some articles. I was hopeful that some of you will write in and zip zap zoom me out!! But but but...well it did happen! We have two new writers today. Meet Maria Shaikh from  94-95 batch. The other person is my dear old friend Sameer Chandra from 89-90 batch.

Maria writes about her observation of rural women. She raises some important questions which most priviledged urban women must ponder over. When I was a little girl in Lucknow I remember 'feminist' was a bad word. Often a funny word. Many a times a word to ridicule certain kind of women. As I grew up and entered journalism I heard many male colleagues still asking the same old question- Why is feminism required? It went on to raise questions like Why not Humanism?:)

Thats a valid question indeed. Who wouldn't want a movement for equality of human beings? But then its shouldn't take a rocket scientist to comprehend that  Black movement happened because white were rulers! Dalit movement happened because Dalits were oppressed! and likewise feminism took birth as women all over the word in varying degrees were suppressed and humiliated. Do you think WHITE imperialists and colonialists would have dared to say 'why a black movement, why not humanism?'

 Feminism or Feminisms is/are a movement/movements that seeks equality of genders and sexes. Not just equality between woman and man but also aims at being inclusive of the third gender. Why did Feminism need to take birth? Thats because for centuries religion, tradition, state, the concept of nation state, culture, administration has been largely male. All offices of religion and authority were taken over by men. Women were either worshipped as nurturer or were treated as the lesser being. Even in marriage most if not all rituals and conventions subjugated women and made them the second partner.

Tradition and conventions must be challenged, evolved and changed for equality. If it happens from within its ok otherwise Feminisms of local, national and international level will change the same. Along with the women I will talk about the third gender yet again. Where are they in our families? in out mohallas? in our schools? in our hospitals? in our public space?? where have we hidden them? are they not our children? siblings? friends? why have we not given them their due? their access to resources? to education? to health care?

Why isn'y humanity at large perplexed at such hidings? such invisibilities of numerous populations?

This SDA Quotient is dedicated to breaking silences!! In a very small way! In a very gentle way!! But this we see as a begining nevertheless!:)

Towards voice, visibility and vision...

Rukmini
Editor, SQ

BABY BLUES

Tell you!!! There are so many hindi films that shout PAPPPA MAI TO PPPAAAPA BAN GAYA!!!

Everybody has a party when a baby is born. You are not supposed to feel any other way. However, ask the mommies. No help or very little help to look after the newly born little fragile bundle of life. The new mother goes through numerous hormonal and environmental changes. One thing that changes for several years is ofcourse the gentle sleep pattern of the mother.

Have you met a cranky new mother? If you haven't you have really had great luck! or you have just not been keen to see!! And ofcourse traditionally and culturally we are supposed to only accomodate happiness over the new born. We don't accomodate responsibilities for everyone!!! It is traditionally the mother who must do everythng...well almost!!

So here we go!! We'll talk about Post partum depression today!! because SDA women we care for you!:):) and what is there must be talked about!!! One of the benefits of studying in a co-ed is that SDA men have always/most of the time been very sensitive to their women. So this is for women, men and children.

Postpartum depression is moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 3 months after delivery.

Women commonly have mood changes during pregnancy, especially after delivery. These mood changes may be caused by changes in hormone levels. Many non-hormonal factors may also affect mood during this period:

• Changes in your body from pregnancy and delivery
• Changes in work and social relationships
• Having less time and freedom for yourself
• Lack of sleep
• Worries about your ability as a mother

Feelings of anxiety, irritation, tearfulness, and restlessness are common in the week or two after pregnancy. These feelings are often called the postpartum or "baby blues." These symptoms almost always go away soon, without the need for treatment.
Postpartum depression may occur when the baby blues do not fade away or when signs of depression start 1 or more months after childbirth.
You may have a higher chance of postpartum depression if you:

• Are under age 20
• Currently abuse alcohol, take illegal substances, or smoke (these also cause serious medical health risks for the baby)
• Did not plan the pregnancy, or had mixed feelings about the pregnancy
• Had depression, bipolar disorder (for example, manic depression), or an anxiety disorder before your pregnancy, or with a previous pregnancy
• Had a stressful event during the pregnancy or delivery, including personal illness, death or illness of a loved one, a difficult or emergency delivery, premature delivery, or illness or birth defect in the baby
• Have a close family member who has had depression or anxiety
• Have a poor relationship with your significant other or are single
• Have financial problems (low income, inadequate housing)
• Have little support from family, friends, or your significant other

The symptoms of postpartum depression are the same as the symptoms of depression that occurs at other times in life. Along with a sad or depressed mood, you may have some of the following symptoms:

• Agitation or irritability
• Changes in appetite
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Feeling withdrawn or unconnected
• Lack of pleasure or interest in most or all activities
• Loss of concentration
• Loss of energy
• Problems doing tasks at home or work
• Negative feelings toward the baby
• Significant anxiety
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble sleeping

A mother with postpartum depression may also:

• Be unable to care for herself or her baby
• Be afraid to be alone with her baby
• Have negative feelings toward the baby or even think about harming the baby (Although these feelings are scary, they are almost never acted on. Still you should tell your doctor about them right away.)
• Worry intensely about the baby, or have little interest in the baby

There is no single test to diagnose postpartum depression. Your doctor may have you complete a questionnaire (such as the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale) at your office visit to look for signs of depression or risks for depression.
Sometimes depression following pregnancy can be related to other medical conditions. Hypothyroidism, for example, causes symptoms such as fatigue, irritability, and depression. Women with postpartum depression should have blood tests to screen for medical causes of depression.

A new mother who has any symptoms of postpartum depression should take steps right away to get help.
Here are some other helpful tips:

• Ask your partner, family, and friends for help with the baby's needs and in the home.
• Don't hide your feelings. Talk about them with your partner, family, and friends.
• Don't make any major life changes during pregnancy or right after giving birth.
• Don't try to do too much, or to be perfect.
• Make time to go out, visit friends, or spend time alone with your partner.
• Rest as much as you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
• Talk with other mothers or join a support group.

The treatment for depression after birth often includes medication, therapy, or both.

• If you are diagnosed with depression, you may need to be followed closely for at least 6 months.
• There are several types of antidepressant medications that may be given to breastfeeding mothers.
• Ask your doctor or nurse for a referral to a mental health therapist. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and interpersonal therapy (IPT) are types of talk therapy that have been found effective for postpartum depression.

If you are thinking of harming yourself or your infant, seek immediate medical help.

If you are diagnosed with postpartum depression, support groups may be helpful, but they should not replace medication or individual psychotherapy (talk therapy).

Medication and professional psychotherapy can often successfully reduce or eliminate symptoms.

If left untreated, postpartum depression can last for months or years, and you may be at risk of harming yourself or your baby.

The potential long-term complications are the same as in major depression.

Call your doctor if you experience any of the following:

• Your baby blues don't go away after 2 weeks
• Symptoms of depression get more intense
• Symptoms of depression begin at any time after delivery, even many months later
• It is hard for you to perform tasks at work or at home
• You cannot care for yourself or your baby
• You have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• You develop thoughts that are not based in reality, or you start hearing or seeing things that other people cannot

Do not be afraid to seek help immediately if you feel overwhelmed and are afraid that you may hurt your baby.

Having good social support from family, friends, and coworkers may help reduce the seriousness of postpartum depression, but may not prevent it.

Screening questionnaires may help detect depression or risks for depression early.
Women who had postpartum depression after past pregnancies may be less likely to develop postpartum depression again if they start taking antidepressant medications after they

There is very little awareness and acceptance of post partum depression as a medical condition. Men need to be sensitive to their wives/partners. Your women have gone through pregnancy. They need care, food, sleep and lots of holding and patience.

Give your woman time. Listen. She is going through a life changing experience. Be around...and all will be fine! Enjoy the baby together!! You have a great life waiting!! Happy growing together Mamma and Paapppa!! And grandparents!!:)

A Walk With My Village Friends

Ab Key baras Bhej Bhaiiyya ko Babul...

For centuries women in general have cried and longed for their siblings, parents and friends secretly. The loss of a family by a woman is something patrirachy has validated. When a woman gets married she has to move out of her home. Its the done thing. The smart thing. The proper thing. A man is protected from such a situation in the name of tradition and male supremacy. Like many other traditions its an acceptable thing that a young bride has to leave her family behind to live with strangers. Interestingly this pain and agony  has been romanticised time and again with various rituals. Women have been trained to be dependant. Most of us who have managed to recieve liberal education have also had to face subtle and obvious discriminations. But my question is what are we as women doing about it?

In my close encounter with the Indian rural women I have observed that contrary to popular perception they are often more empowered than their urban counterpart. I have been living in and around rural India for some time now. Empowerment has multiple, interrelated and interdependent dimensions. Economic, social, cultural and political. It can be viewed vis a vis access to resources, relationships, power and perception.

I build my case by qualifying what one means by empowerment. Perhaps a woman's self worth, her control over her life both at home and at work and lastly her ability to direct social  change to  create a just, social and economic order could be some pointers.

In the rural space I occupy I have met a woman in a live in relationship. There is another woman who is the bread earner of her family. The remarkable thing about her husband is that unlike many chauvinist urban men he has taken over the chores of his house. He is a truly progressive man who is an extremely fair husband and an engaging father. The domestic help at my place is a fiesty and decisive women. A washer woman I interact with regularly has stood for the Gram Pradhan Election. I have met girls who have asserted their right to marry and choose their partners. And I have met a married woman here who has chosen love over a disabling marriage.

Many women occupy  important posts by contesting elections in the rural area where I live. Looking at all this I wonder about some of the urban women I have met over the years. I recall many women with computer and internet at home who have refused to train themselves digitally. I cringe at the thought that some of these priviledged women  cannot  operate bank accounts or make  travel arrangements. Many of these women are incapable of  handling hospital admissions even  during emergencies. Even for simple  tasks like social visits or  shopping they need the company of their  husbands.

Many rich urban women feel proud that they are well protected and  pampered by their husbands. They don't realise that they are but dependant on another person. They may be literate but are not active in family's financial decisions. They have no hand in family budget, savings and investments.

The above inabilities inspite of great prviledges and access to resources is shameful. This total surrender to another person's decisions is not just being foolishly romantic. Its simply making a fool of oneself. Interestingly this dependance is often eulogised as love and great luck.

True woman empowerment  is all about  women breaking free from  the chains of limiting beliefs. Most social, cultural and religious practices have traditionally kept women  suppressed.

Rural women educated or uneducated have often broken their chains. While rural women are short of resources they are still often their family's equal decision makers. Upper Class, Priviledged Urban women must understand that by not raising their voice against inequality they are being unfair to themselves and all the women who are lesser priviledged but fighting bigger wars.

If the priviledged class of urban women will not  assert equality of action and decion making the underpriviledged women will end up fighting alone and longer. It is also important that women learn technology, communicate, network. Thats how one becomes empowered. Not by just enjoying luxuries...and keeping quiet!

Fight a little battle for fellow sisters. We have a long way to go together!

Maria Sheikh works as a Lecturer in Integral University, Lucknow. She lives in Badlapur, Uttar Pradesh. Gender, Religion and Empowerment are some of her areas of interest. You will see her write more on the same in the coming days.

The Answer my friend is blowing in the wind...

How old would you feel, if you didn't know your real age? Whatever that number is, what's stopping you from feeling that way, now?

I’ve pondered over this question for about a week. What triggered me to think along these lines, is a personal situation in the family, where a very close dear one is struggling to find the meaning of life, and strength to fight, what’s potentially hanging over the horizon, a life-threatening diagnosis.

In short twelve weeks, I’ve seen the cheery, effervescent qualities in this individual slowly waning away, along with her health, being replaced by weariness, and doubt. As she prepares herself for harder times ahead, she’s struggling to understand, “why me?”

Truth is, its never about “Why Me?” It’s a question with no definite answer. We convince ourselves of the answer, eventually based on the situation we’re in. In the words of great, Bob Dylan “The answers, my friend is blowing in the wind”

More important is “What Now?” it remains the the most important question, and is often lost in gloom. The sooner you come to terms with the situation, the sooner you can start looking for solutions, to answer “What Now?”
Most often, the answers are governed by our attitude towards life. Some people live their age, some live to age, some age to live, some are ageless, while others don’t even know the difference.

“Life by itself is a terminal disease”. We all will fade away, in our own time. Knowing that one constant, “the truth”, what we do from the moment we’re born to the moment we die, is what we’re remembered for.

I cant say, that I have done enough in my life, to make people remember me for who I really am or was. But, that’s on a larger scale. I’m at peace, with who I am, and what I want from my life, on a much smaller, personal level.

I’m 38 years old. That number 38 though finite, has infinite meanings. To a toddler, it has no meaning, to a teenager it’s “old”, to my subordinated its “age of wisdom”, to my peers its "just life", to my elders it’s “youth”...and yet, we struggle everyday to understand this basic fact, age is nothing but a number.

Then why fight it, why worry about it? Often, people rely on the age old cliché-

 “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. At any given instance, we always have at the minimum, two choices. What you do with the lemons is your call.

Life gives us lemons, because it doesn’t really know any better. Would it be better, if it gave us apples? May be then we can take solace in another cliché, “An apple a day, keeps doctors away”, but you’ll still get old, may stay healthy but will definitely, die.

Truth is, you cant drink lemonade for the rest of your life....no matter how long or short it is.
Think about the following, the answers may set you free;
1. Why are you, you?
2. If not now, then, when?
3. What is the difference between “being alive” and “truly living”?

Life is not about clichés. Life is about living every moment of it, whichever way you choose it to be. How you look at it, will define how it is going to be. I don’t know if I have the answers yet, but I think I’m on the right path.

Sameer Chandra is from 1989-90 ICSE batch of SDA Vidhan Sabha Branch. He works as Branch Manager at ATC Associates Inc. Sameer lives with his wife Nidhi and daughter Ria in San Antonio, Texas.

Must watch Films this month

This month SQ team has taken help from a young filmmaker to choose the films we can all watch. So here we go but do give us your feedback after you have watched these films.

John Cassavettes- Love streams

2) Yasujiro Ozo- Early Summer

3) Shohei Imamura-Intentions of Murder

4) Jim Jarmusch- Strangers Than Paradise

5) Miranda July- Me and You and Everyone we know