My niece Titli posted Cyd Charisse in "Party Girl" on FB the other day. Titli and I have bonded over dance since she was a kid. She has shown me many graceful dancers on youtube. Everytime I have seen her dance or seen others dance elegantly or powerfully or both my heart has skipped a beat.
When I was a little girl things were not always easy. But I had the priviledge and oppurtunity to shake it.
I was severely ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper active Disorder.) It wasn't diagnosed then. I remember random remarks that I was a restless kid. I often skipped the siesta while my brother could be put to sleep easily. I was endlessly and ceaselessly on my feet. Would run around the colony. I knew almost every nook and cranny. Would play with friends. Would bump into strangers. Most were nice. Many were strange strangers. I would be scared to find them. I would be ashamed to know them. There would also be a sense of excitement in meeting the gollum. But I just couldn't sleep like most of my friends and family members in the afternoon. I would constantly move from one place to another. I couldn't sit in one place for too long.
I could sense being mildly lost when I was in high school. However, I was also a very happy child. I was kind of a popular student in Seventh Day Adventist. It was in SDA that I realised that I love writing. My teachers encouraged me. It is in SDA that I gathered I have the gift of the gab. My friends pampered me. They praised me for silly things. The likes of Anwar, Swati, Arunima, Rahul Seth and Priyank made me feel like I was cat's whiskers. Don't remember a single soul in school who was mean to me. They all unknowingly carried my soul to a delightfully secure space. I was safe and extremely loved.
My family, SDA, my cycle and my dance held me tight. Trust me when I say I could have slipped into the dark side of the moon any day:).
It was in class 4th. My friend and fellow rickshaw traveller Bipasha Paul was dropped at her Kathak class one day. I stepped down and peeped into her class. Bipasha was tying her ghungroo. Other girls were dancing away. Guru Kumkum Adarsh called me in. Bips also smiled and waved at me to come in. I was allowed to watch. Those girls and boys, they jumped and swirled like a dervish. Bipasha moved with abandonment once on the floor. Next day I asked my mother if I could dance too. Was my mother happy? She got me admitted to the Kathak classes the very next day. Here I must thank my parents and Bips! and may be Bips' mother as well:)
Thus began my rigorous training in Kathak. I learnt Kathak for eight years. First from Guru Kumkum Adarsh, disciple of Lachchu Maharaj and then Guru Sanjeev Roy. Life changed its mood and its pace many a times. I danced it on a beat I understood. I danced wherever I could. I travelled far and wide to watch people dance. On the verge of getting my divorce when I visited my ex hubby in Bangalore I requested him to show me Nrityagram. He casully mentioned it to his friends over a dinner. One of them was a Bharatnatyam dancer. We travelled to Nrityagram...and my heart refused to mourn. Have you been to Nrityagram? Protima Bedi's dream school? Its magic. Nrityagram tells you the story of Protima Bedi's grit and guts. How successful can a mad heart be! Where all can a whacky dream take you! But you must dream. And you must dance!
One of my greatest experiences was to meet Sitara Devi in 2004. I cooked for her. Drank wine with her. She fed me well. In those days I had left my fat salary to understand life:). Happens after your first divorce. We spent months chatting about K Asif, love and life in general. She was married to K. Asif of Mughal- E-Azam fame for the longest time.
Life of a dancer in 40s and 50s wasn't easy. You needed to be a Sitara Devi to pursue your heart. Guess its not easy even now if you don't belong to a priviledged class. Sitara Devi's trials and tribulations are deeply inspiring. Her struggles can't be imagined by women who haven't stepped out of their home alone. She asserts woman power and autonomy over one's body and how.
Life is not easy. However, we have seen people dance in the wildest and remotest of places. When I had travelled to Abuj Madh, in the Maoist heart land I had seen the tibals dance and sing. Thats a conflict zone. I hope none of us have to go there and live there. Its hard to imagine the level of impoverishment and deprivation there. But some people dance there too. How long will the dance continue? Are they dancing in merriment? and joy? or are they dancing to keep them going!!
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Sitara had once said "Dance ek phalsafa hai".
Voltaire said -Let us read and let us dance - two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.
Thats my small learning from all dancers. Thats what we learnt from the innocent movie Billy Elliot -didn't we? In the end I just hope all our children have friends they can dance with. I pray they hold the hands of their lesser priviledged friends. Here's wishing dance, play and more dance to every child. Dance it away children!:)
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